Well-Fed Man

A pure exercise in self-indulgence.
Sung to the tune of ZZ Top’s “Sharp Dressed Man”

So rare, it moos
And I don’t know where to start to chew.
Sizzlin’ steak, tastes right,
I’ll break the buffet tonight.
They come waddling just as fast as they can,
‘Cause women go crazy ’bout a well-fed man.

Golden fries, onion rings,
Go well with spicy wings.
And hot links, even rats,
When I step on the scale I’ll smash it flat.
They come runnin’ just a fast as they can,
‘Cause women go crazy ’bout a well-fed man.

Roast beef, roast cat,
Did I remember to mention rat?
Sack lunch, white bread,
One day I’ll be just droppin’ dead.
They come running just as fast as they can,
‘Cause women go crazy ’bout a well-fed man.