Who’s Costing Who the Election?

I’ve just seen—for the gazillionth time—some pseudo-objective pundit asking the question: “Is Palin costing McCain the election?” It makes me want to tear my hair out. The sad and unspeakable truth is: McCain is costing Palin the election. The pundits gravely question what her selection says about his judgment, all the while fighting with each other to be first in line to lick Obama’s boots.

The Left, and its wholly-owned subsidiaries—the Democratic Party and the mainstream media—would have the gullible believe that McCain is a right-wing firebrand and our beloved and passionately embraced nominee. How soon they forget. McCain became our nominee by virtue of being the only semi-corpse still twitching on the battlefield after the primary bloodbath. In that overly crowded field, McCain was my second-to-last choice for the nomination. Only Ron Paul made my stomach queasier.

In fact, and virtually without exception, candidates for the GOP nomination were eliminated in order of my preference for them. George Allen goes down in flames for saying macaca? It’s pathetic that the Left saw fit to seize upon this bit of harmless on-the-spot word coinage as a weapon to bring him down. It is a biting indictment of the limp-wristedness of our society that it instantly caught traction. My choice for the nomination was Tom Tancredo. He was aligned with my political philosophy to the tune of 90-95% overall, and dead on with the issues that mattered most to me. He went early as well. Mostly for the sin of telling the truth.

For most of us, McCain was a double whammy. He has long been the most wishy-washy Republican in the senate, well deserving of the epithet RINO. He has had a long history of sacrificing his own party and constituents on the pagan alter of bipartisanship. Many of us thought it would be better to elect an honest Democrat than to exalt a fake Republican.

So why do we support McCain now? The reason is the classic political reason: He is the lesser of two evils. Those of us still capable of rational thought are astounded at how quickly and enthusiastically our entire nation began guzzling the Obama Kool-Aid. Logic and reason were tossed out with the garbage and an appallingly bad choice for a presidential candidate now is known as The One, The Savior, The Messiah, etc.. Obama’s only truly amazing achievement in life is making John McCain the best available choice for president of the United States.

All of which leads us back to Sarah Palin. Why the outpouring of admiration, affection, and support? Because she is the one we kept hoping for during the primaries. The one that never came. She is here now, even though we’re disappointed it’s in the number two spot, but still here. The Left has showered her with unprecedented—and unjustifiable—vitriol and bile. They don’t do it because they fear her. To say so would be to do Sarah an injustice. They do it because she fills them with gut-wrenching terror. More than anything else, the Left fears the appearance of another Republican with the effectiveness and political invincibility of Ronald Reagan. The Left knows, even if we don’t, that Sarah Palin is a Ronald Reagan that looks good in heels and a skirt.

Let’s just all pray for the sake of the nation, and our own sakes, that McCain doesn’t cost this wonderful woman the election.

The Liberal Lexicon: “I” Words and Phrases

The Fine Art of Liberal to English Translation

Contrary to popular belief, Liberals do speak a form of English. Their dialect, though strange, is quite similar to American English. In fact, the vocabulary, grammar, syntax, and even the accents are identical. So what accounts for all the heartache and confusion that plagues Libero-American relations? The answer is semantics, the linguistic field of word meanings. The concepts identified by the same words are often quite different between Liberal and American English. As a token of my desire to bridge this gap I humbly submit these translations.

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The Definitions

1. Indoctrination—Sunday School.
2. Interest—Theft, when collected by a private lending firm. Investment (see below), when collected by a government entity.
3. Intern—a mobile humidor.
4. Internal Revenue Service—the only law enforcement agency not staffed entirely by fascist criminals.
5. Intolerance—insisting on standing by your original position even though a liberal has whined about how it makes him feel.
6. Investment— confiscatory taxation.
7. Irrelevant—describes information or evidence that proves a liberal’s guilt beyond a reasonable doubt.
8. Islam—The only truly peaceful religion, thus the only one allowed and expected to use swift and blinding violence to prove it.
9. Ivins, Molly— hideous woman who never quite got over George Bush standing her up at the prom.

Liberal Democats: Welcome to the Conservative Republican World

Reading the Washington Post article started with a certain giddy delight. That feeling turned into pure unadulterated schadenfreude when I read this:

That’s how it goes in the Heath home, and how it has always gone. It’s a household that explains much about Palin, 44, and how she acquired her set-jawed, swaggering demeanor, one that her mother first noticed “about the time she started to walk.” Above all, the house suggests how she came by her dissident, out-of-category feminism, a code by which she tackles old-boy networks relentlessly, while remaining blank if not unsympathetic on traditional women’s issues with a capital W, such as sexism in the workplace.

“I’m a little absent from that discussion, because I’ve never thought of gender as an issue,” she told Alaska Business Monthly after being elected governor in 2006.

All of which reminds me of a favorite Ann Coulter quote which I’m likely paraphrasing: “When we solve a problem, we lose an issue.” All of which may explain why professional grievance-mongers can convince the droves of voters with short memories to vote them back in to deal with problems they caused in the first place.

Welcome to our world, leftists of all kinds. You work feverishly to solve a problem, then along comes another generation of voters who didn’t grow up with the problem and—voilà!—everything that was traditional is radical again. Such as the hard-working professional woman who dreams of the day that her husband makes enough money that she can stay home and raise their children. “Blasphemy!” they shrieked.

Women have had, and still do have, legitimate grievances that need to be addressed, but not so many as feminists have frantically tried to have us believe. For instance, the average woman’s attitude about the right to be drafted and sent into a combat zone consists mostly of: Would you butch bitches please stop helping us? In the 60s and early 70s I lost count of the number of women who said that, other than equal-pay-for-equal-work, feminism offered nothing that they wanted.

I’ve pondered the issue for years and I think that, for the majority of real-world women, feminism should be a process of “adding to” as opposed to the elitist feminists “substituting for”. That means that many women wish to keep what they’ve traditionally had as women while adding to it certain things which were unfairly denied. The sisters of the latter-day feminist movement have insisted on a throw-out-the-baby-with-the-bath-water approach. Then they affect amazement and hurt when most women balk at the idea of being penisless men.

The Left may succeed in destroying Sarah Palin. I hope they don’t, purely on the basis that the words “President Obama” frighten any rational person to the point of incontinence. But it is possible they can destroy her— temporarily. The plucky gal didn’t have much time to prepare for this ordeal, but her razor sharp mind can absorb a lot in 4 to 8 years. Then we’ll be treated to the sight of Katie Couric running from the interview room in tears.

Memo Writers’ Observations on Life #3

It’s not such a bad idea.

Memo Writers’ Observations on Life #3

1. Empirical evidence supports the theory that marriage is the only known cure for nymphomania.
2. When environmentalists seek to gain the support of Joe and Mary Sixpack, they show pictures of cuddly deer and bunnies, along with the occasional bald eagle, never the disgusting slugs, snails, biting insects, and weeds that actually stop or hold up highway construction and commercial development.
3. Liberals hate everything that makes life worth living.
4. Most liberals that support getting back to nature have never even been on a camping trip.
5. It’s odd that the only marriages the left doesn’t support are those between men and women.
6. The Mainstream Media’s relationship to liberals is equivalent to that of a parrot to its owner.
7. All liberals secretly want to be French.
8. Environmentalist consider your recently restored muscle car to be the moral equivalent of a bloody axe.
9. Women are the way they are because of the way men, which is because of the way women are.
10. Your children will manifest your worst habits and qualities before any other.
11. Teenagers consider ignorance and inexperience to be virtues.
12. Liberals have their development arrested at the teenager phase.
13. Americans are too trusting.
14. Minority conservatives deserve our utmost respect for their bravery.
15. The only thing a feminist hates more than a man is a happy woman.
16. Women are right about cuddling.
17. Your mother will spend the first 20 years of your adulthood trying to plug the umbilical cord back in.
18. Leftists can’t see the connection between the housing shortages and rent control, restrictions on land usage, and high property tax rates.
19. Most people can’t make a rational choice about a lifetime mate until they’re in their 40s—at the earliest.
20. We’ll have to save Europe again—soon.