Memorandum
From: Memo Writer
Topic: That Burning Sensation in Your Ears Is the Truth
Abstract: The management intends to begin a series of posts dealing frankly with race, ethnicity, nationality, culture, religion, and other topics only liberals are allowed to talk about. Over the last several years management has reluctantly modified his position on these issues and reassessed what needs to be done in the best interest of the United States. Management will illustrate his positions and reasons for them with detailed anecdotes of personal encounters he has had. It has been the experience of management that liberals whine when confronted with similar views, with the exception of minority liberals, who squeal like stuck pigs and threaten bloody violence. Therefore, management would like to preface these posts with the following position statements:
Item 1: The Memo Writer was pro-minority rights before being pro-minority rights was cool.
Item 2: When the Memo Writer asks a group of liberals for a show of hands as to who has dated a person of another race, his hand is usually the only one in the air.
Item 3: The Memo Writer’s best friend, and best man at his wedding, is half Mexican
Item 4: The Memo Writer once had his heart broken at the loss of a child he was fostering, a 3/4s black girl left by an in-law.
Item5: When he was in the Navy, the Memo Writer treated the Filipino women with the utmost respect, even the bar girls, for which they often expressed gratitude.
Item 6: The Memo Writer likes all women, but admits that he finds exotic women particularly compelling and has always dreamed of taking a special such woman for his wife, though fate has always frustrated him in this goal.
Item 7: The Memo Writer must admit he is baffled when people warn him about the mixed-race children that would result from a union such as in Item 6.
Item 8: What many people interpret as racism in the Memo Writer is, in fact, culturalism. The Memo Writer scoffs at the idea that any race is significantly better than any other on a genetic basis. He does, however, acknowledge the fact that all men, women, and especially cultures are not created equal. That some cultures, especially Western Civilization, are vastly and demonstrably superior to others.
Item 9: The Memo Writer’s pro-Western and pro-American beliefs do not mean he thinks his ethnic group is genetically superior to yours. The Memo Writer does not derive his sense of identity from his race. He derives it primarily from his nationality
Item 10: The Memo Writer believes that anyone can dump the garbage that was their old culture, take up the mantle of Americanism, and be his equal, possibly even his superior, in any endeavor.
