Exploring Two of Hillary Clinton’s Multitudinous Faces
Memorandum
From: The Memo Writer
Topic: Hillary Clinton’s Sudden Concern for High Fuel Prices
Abstract: News reports today indicate that Hillary Clinton has issued a recommendation that the government release fuel from the Strategic Petroleum Reserve for ease rising prices. Management has noticed that, as usual, this cynical gesture has generated an epidemic of warm fuzzy feelings and a plague of giddy “aws” from staff with short memories. Staff members with longer memories but suffering from Chronic Political Gullibility Syndrome are experiencing anxious feelings they can’t identify. To alleviate these problems, management requires all USA staff to read the following:
Item 1: Hillary’s suggestion is pure political posturing. Hillary, and others like her, have always maintained that Americans pay too little for fuel.
Item 2: Liberal Democrats are notorious for waxing poetic about the “$5 to $7 per gallon” that Europeans pay during price run-ups.
Item 3: Any Liberals objection to the present run-up is because none of the run-up is the result of the heavy additional taxation they recommend during period of low fuel prices.
Item 4: The Strategic Petroleum Reserve, born in a fit of crisis-induced political posturing, is for emergencies. Emergencies are understood to be disruptions in fuel supply that would immobilize the military and law enforcement, disrupt shipments of food or medicine, or that shut off the heat and lights in January. Your vacation to Maui will never qualify as an emergency no matter how big of a fit you throw.
Item 5: The reserve isn’t as big as you think. As of November 8, 2007, the SPR has 694.7 million barrels of crude oil stored. Management knows that number sounds big, but if withdrawn at the maximum possible rate, the reserve would be exhausted in 57 days. Just in case you’re a registered Democrat, that’s less than two months.
Item Six: Presently, the United States imports about 12 million barrels of oil per day—that’s per day! The SPR only has the capacity to withdraw 4.4 million barrels per day. A total disruption of our imported supply would result in a fuel deficit of approximately 8 million barrels a day—per day! For those of you who weren’t alive in the 1970s, or were too young to remember, let the voice of experience tell you that a smaller deficit sucked more than you can possibly imagine.
Item Seven: A politically motivated release of fuel from the SPR will do nothing to make the situation better, it will only make you feel better, just like all previous politically motivated releases.
Item Eight: By now you’ve probably asked: If all of this is true, then why does Hillary want to do it? The reason is that most of you think short term while Hillary, for all of her other faults, thinks long term. Hillary wants to be president. Why? Because it is the ultimate position in the world for engaging in social engineering, which has always been Hillary’s goal in life. To be president, she has to get elected, at least for now. She doesn’t want to face an election with a populace paying $5 or more per gallon for gasoline. Especially not against an opponent on record as advocating increasing domestic fuel supplies and refining capacity.
Item Nine: Hillary, just like Bill, doesn’t give a damn about you and never will. After she is safely ensconced in office, she will be perfectly content to let all of you, even you loyal Democrats in the Rust Belt, freeze to death in the dark. It will be a small price to pay to realize Hillary’s Utopian vision for the world.
Item Ten: Most of the crude oil held in the SPR is highly polluting “sour” crude. So, at least for a little while, you’ll have to choose between cleaner air and luxuries like electricity and transportation.
Item Eleven: As long as the Champagne is chilled and the engines on Air Force One are singing happily, you will only matter for one day in November every four years.
Management recommends you study and remember these items as there will be a test given on November 4, 2008.
November 8, 2007 at 7:11 pm
Me thinks a certain someone is a little Anti-Clinton!
Haha, anyway you might want to remember, its mainly Bush who doesnt stick to the constitution nowadays!
November 8, 2007 at 7:53 pm
Okay you act like there’s something wrong with pure political posturing. How else is she supposed to win the election? The system is rigged, and sometimes you have to get down and dirty to be successful. If anyone questions Hillary’s ability to get America back on track, then I will question their sanity. You can count on it.
November 8, 2007 at 8:27 pm
Bluesaga, you’ll get no argument from me on that point. Bush has been a bitter disappointment to me as well as many other people. I was willing to give him a pass on a lot of it on account of the War on Terror. But after he spit in the country’s face on the illegal immigrant amnesty issue, no more. As I have said, it baffles me that politicians consider a 51% vote to be a mandate, and a 55% vote to be an overwhelming mandate. Yet when over 80% of the populace is against amnesty, including a majority of Hispanic-Americans, they are dismissed and condemned as a small bands of bigots. I’m counting the minutes until this liberal in sheep’s clothing leaves office forever.
BTW, you’re wrong. I’m a lot anti-Clinton. Those two bastards and their band of political tapeworms are the apotheosis of everything that is wrong with my country.
As for the Vote for Hillary folks. Please feel free to question my sanity. Also, by America back on track you must mean the country will be emasculated, vulnerable, back in stagflation, groveling before every semi-human savage dictator, and paying for the privilege. Your girl is Joseph Stalin with tits and an out-of-style pantsuit.