Hillary Unspun

8 11 2007

Memorandum

From: The Memo Writer
Topic: Hillary Clinton vs. Women (and Decency)

The sustained slamming of Hillary Clinton in the previous post felt so good—almost orgasmicly good—management has decided it deserves some pure self-indulgence.

Item One: Hillary is the worst enemy a woman could ever have, or at least she and people like her. Women have legitimate grievances, none of which Hillary gives a damn about. On the issue of Women’s Rights, or the more accurate term of Women’s Well-being, Hillary couldn’t care less. She is an generic exploiter, not even extraordinary at that endeavor. She finds a legitimate issue or cause and latches onto it like a lamprey latches on to some hapless fish. Her motivation is not the cause, but pure naked self-interest.

Item Two: Despite mocking homemakers and mothers, and deriding Tammy Wynette’s devotion to her husband, Hillary has taken the most basic of the cynical gold digger’s roads to success. She hitched her wagon to a man’s rising star. Then she subordinated her ambitions to his in anticipation of a big and easier pay off later.

Item Three: Hillary is an enabler of staggering magnitude. Bill Clinton has subjected her to a lifetime of disrespect and countless humiliations with his myriad (and none too skillfully concealed) infidelities. She is known to have reacted with anger at the Fornicator in Chief, but when the time comes for action she lashes out viciously, not at him, but at the women. Even those who weren’t willing. Strangely, especially those who weren’t willing.

Item Four: She has to be the crappiest mother that ever existed. With the examples she has set for her daughter I suspect that Chelsea employs a full-time staff of counselors.

Item Five: Hillary and others of her ilk use their seething misandry to pump life into the moribund feminist movement. They then use that movement to gain favor with bubble-bound university types, inside-the-beltway refugees from reality, and frothing-at-the-mouth lesbians. The end result is girls who grow up unable to respect their fathers, brothers, husbands, or even their own male children. A situation guaranteed to perpetuate female misery.

Item Six: Hillary is a woman who is known to scream and curse at and demean her own staff, as well as those who are there to keep her alive. This is a woman who felt justified in vandalism and taking national heirlooms as souvenirs when they left the White House. Be honest with yourself; how do you really think she feels about the single mother working at a below-the-poverty-level job and living in a single-wide because she can’t afford anything else. The truth is worse than you can imagine. She doesn’t think or feel anything about it. Those people are of an entirely different species and beneath her notice—unless mom doesn’t pay her taxes.





Exploring Two of Hillary Clinton’s Multitudinous Faces

8 11 2007

Memorandum

From: The Memo Writer
Topic: Hillary Clinton’s Sudden Concern for High Fuel Prices

Abstract: News reports today indicate that Hillary Clinton has issued a recommendation that the government release fuel from the Strategic Petroleum Reserve for ease rising prices. Management has noticed that, as usual, this cynical gesture has generated an epidemic of warm fuzzy feelings and a plague of giddy “aws” from staff with short memories. Staff members with longer memories but suffering from Chronic Political Gullibility Syndrome are experiencing anxious feelings they can’t identify. To alleviate these problems, management requires all USA staff to read the following:

Item 1: Hillary’s suggestion is pure political posturing. Hillary, and others like her, have always maintained that Americans pay too little for fuel.

Item 2: Liberal Democrats are notorious for waxing poetic about the “$5 to $7 per gallon” that Europeans pay during price run-ups.

Item 3: Any Liberals objection to the present run-up is because none of the run-up is the result of the heavy additional taxation they recommend during period of low fuel prices.

Item 4: The Strategic Petroleum Reserve, born in a fit of crisis-induced political posturing, is for emergencies. Emergencies are understood to be disruptions in fuel supply that would immobilize the military and law enforcement, disrupt shipments of food or medicine, or that shut off the heat and lights in January. Your vacation to Maui will never qualify as an emergency no matter how big of a fit you throw.

Item 5: The reserve isn’t as big as you think. As of November 8, 2007, the SPR has 694.7 million barrels of crude oil stored. Management knows that number sounds big, but if withdrawn at the maximum possible rate, the reserve would be exhausted in 57 days. Just in case you’re a registered Democrat, that’s less than two months.

Item Six: Presently, the United States imports about 12 million barrels of oil per day—that’s per day! The SPR only has the capacity to withdraw 4.4 million barrels per day. A total disruption of our imported supply would result in a fuel deficit of approximately 8 million barrels a day—per day! For those of you who weren’t alive in the 1970s, or were too young to remember, let the voice of experience tell you that a smaller deficit sucked more than you can possibly imagine.

Item Seven: A politically motivated release of fuel from the SPR will do nothing to make the situation better, it will only make you feel better, just like all previous politically motivated releases.

Item Eight: By now you’ve probably asked: If all of this is true, then why does Hillary want to do it? The reason is that most of you think short term while Hillary, for all of her other faults, thinks long term. Hillary wants to be president. Why? Because it is the ultimate position in the world for engaging in social engineering, which has always been Hillary’s goal in life. To be president, she has to get elected, at least for now. She doesn’t want to face an election with a populace paying $5 or more per gallon for gasoline. Especially not against an opponent on record as advocating increasing domestic fuel supplies and refining capacity.

Item Nine: Hillary, just like Bill, doesn’t give a damn about you and never will. After she is safely ensconced in office, she will be perfectly content to let all of you, even you loyal Democrats in the Rust Belt, freeze to death in the dark. It will be a small price to pay to realize Hillary’s Utopian vision for the world.

Item Ten: Most of the crude oil held in the SPR is highly polluting “sour” crude. So, at least for a little while, you’ll have to choose between cleaner air and luxuries like electricity and transportation.

Item Eleven: As long as the Champagne is chilled and the engines on Air Force One are singing happily, you will only matter for one day in November every four years.

Management recommends you study and remember these items as there will be a test given on November 4, 2008.