Progressive = Liberal = Socialist

If you’re like me (and if you are congratulations!) you probably have a hard time deciding if Leftists are dumb and/or crazy and/or evil. I’ve been conducting an informal poll of left-of-center folks since I was a teenager. I just ask questions and keep a running tab in my head on some of the more interesting answers.One of the questions I ask is, “When you achieve your goal of establishing a far left/socialist/communist government what will you do for a living?” I always get the exact same answer. Do they plan to work on a collective farm? Nah. Do they plan on working at the centralized napkin factory? Nah. How about working in the nationalized health care field? Double nah! They always answer the same way and without exception,”Oh, I would work for the government.” Most of them give you a look that says they can’t believe you even had to ask the question.

What’s my point? Simple, proponents of a big and intrusive government always picture themselves in a power wielding position, without fail. Never as the poor gullible sap who has to support the whole gargantuan bureaucracy on his back. So, as many right-wing radio talk show hosts say, it’s all about power, who has it and who doesn’t.

Top Ten Reasons Liberals Fear Religion

1. God failed to get advice and consent before appointing this Jesus guy.
2. He strikes people dead when they try to filibuster Him.
3. The clergy have poor fashion sense.
4. Christians naively think just 10 rules pretty much sums it up.
5. That Pope guy just doesn’t get simple concepts like moral relativism.
6. The flock refuses to ask them for forgiveness.
7. Narrow-minded Christians get hostile when they try to deconstruct the Bible.
8. Christendom hasn’’t updated their core beliefs in over 2000 years.
9. God defies conventional wisdom by insisting that there is a time for war.
10. Jesus was a blue-collar worker and didn’’t go to an Ivy League University.

Democractic Party Solutions Applied to Everyday Situations

• Effective immediately all Caucasians and successful minorities will be required to practice the “open garage” policy. Garage doors must be left open at all times. The inner door must be unlocked as well. After all, trespassers just want a cold beer and to watch some TV, just like everybody else.
• Due to government concerns about the health of the petroleum transfer industry, gas station attendants will be paid $5 per gallon not to pump your gas, if they don’t pump 10 gallons or more they get double trading stamps.
• Universities will immediately desist from the discriminatory practice of limiting the number of students that can register for a given class and thus oppressing the punctuality-challenged. All interested students must be allowed to enroll. In an unrelated matter universities will be fined $10,000 per student per semester for each instance of insufficient seating.
• To prevent the undue hardship of a disconnection, delinquent utility bills will be paid by the neighbors living on either side of the financially distressed person.
• All accelerated and advanced placement courses in public schools are hereby canceled. Students with higher aptitude will be required to tutor remedial students. After all, it’s only fair. They won in life’s lottery. Failure to comply will result in the forfeiture of any future student grants and loans.
• The concept of the checkout counter “Leave a penny, take a penny” dish has proven so popular that the legislature has passed a bill applying the principle to the pockets of people standing next to you in line. Despite the name, the law permits any denomination to be taken. Participation is compulsory.
• In order to comply with health regulations restaurants and grocery stores are henceforth required to give a sponge bath to any homeless person that may wander into the building.
• Newspaper boys are required to charge their subscribers on a sliding scale determined by means testing. If the subscriber is illiterate, the paper boy is required to read it to the subscriber. To insure good service to the underprivileged, stiff penalties will be assessed for late delivery.
• In order to put a stop to the scourge of racial profiling, identification cards will no longer be required to cash a check, buy cigarettes or alcohol, buy guns or ammunition, attend adult movies, sign a contract, or pick up children from any daycare facility.

You Just Might Be a Feminist If…

1. …your favorite video game is a first-person shooter in which you toast embryos with a laser.
2. …you’ve kicked a man in the groin because he found you attractive.
3. …you’ve stalked a heterosexual woman because she didn’t.
4. …you’re raising your only child on lawsuit money you got from your abortion clinic.
5. …you once got the president of a major university fired for saying the sky is blue.
6. …you believe that the vote should be restricted to childless lesbian Democrats.
7. …you’re plotting against your own uterus.
8. …you believe that your menstrual cycle is proof that God exists, he’s male, and a sexist.
9. …you got a breast reduction even though you were a natural AA cup.
10. …you’ve ever drop-kicked a doctor for refusing to give your male foster child a sex change operation.

Mahmoud’s To-Do List

I find it odd that all of the pseudo-enlightened people, especially those who were all to recently swept into power, keep reacting with a collective yawn about Iran’s rush toward nuclear weapons. Obviously, the threat and promise to destroy Israel in a campaign of nuclear genocide leaves all true-believing Leftists unmoved. This all begs the question, have they given any consideration to whois #2 on Mahmoud’s “To Do” list?