Top 20 Reasons Liberal Democrats Fear Immigration Reform

1. Literacy rate is too high among the native-born.
2. Fear of paying market price for fruits and vegetables.
3. Fresh immigrants have no clue when you’re ripping them off.
4. The native-born know embezzling and bribery when they see it.
5. American-born maids know that they don’t have to have sex with you to keep their jobs.
6. Their wives are extremely close to the pool boy.
7. Their daughters are extremely close to the pool boy.
8. Their sons are extremely close to the pool boy.
9. They secretly have feelings for the pool boy.
10. Their last pool boy quit without notice.
11. They feel a need to cancel out Linda Chavez and Michelle Malkin.
12. They have a neurotic fear of unmodified ‘64 Chevy’s.
13. Asian food cooked by a guy named Bob Johnson just doesn’t taste right.
14. Thomas Sowell, Condaleeza Rice, Clarence Thomas, and Star Parker are bad omens.
15. They need someone to translate the Spanish language ballots for them on election day.
16. Recent immigrants don’t understand the concept of itemized deductions.
17. Their mothers have been crying since the pool boy left.
18. Native-born legislators read the fine print on the legislation liberals sponsor.
19. MS-13 has established a sleeper cell in their basements.
20. They just can’t go back to smoking substandard weed.