Memorandum
From: The Memo Writer
Topic: Public Education
It has come to my attention that many Americans are confused by our schools move toward more public and less education. My research indicates this is because some retrograde Americans don’t understand the Wink-Nudge Function.
Definition: The Wink-Nudge Function is the product of a neural network of the insecurity lobe, gullibility node, suppressed self-interest gyrus, and psychobabble ganglion. This vital function allows people who subconsciously know that something is objectively false to convince their conscious minds that it is objectively true in order to obtain maximum social acceptance.
Using the latest high tech dewinknudgificator the following facts become apparent:
Item 1: Most American parents send their kids to public school for the free daycare. As an example, compare the number of parents who say, ” I can’t wait till school starts so I can get these brats out of my hair!” to those who say I can’t wait for school to start again because my kids math skills are starting to slip. (They last statement had no quotes because I was unable to track down any parent who had ever actually said this.)
Item 2: Most American communities tolerate public schools because that’s the only way to get tax-supported sports teams. The citizenry are generally willing to pay the most odious property taxes to keep getting them for free.
Item 3: Most teachers and all teacher education institutions support public education in order to get to the children before the parents can poison their minds with reactionary values.
